How to Deal With HATERS Online!

Written By Dino Gomez

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Transcription

In today’s episode, we are going to be talking about how to deal with haters online.

All right, let’s get into this one.

Hey, you guys, Dino Gomez here and you are listening to the Secrets of Coaching podcast, where we break down the nuances of growing a seven figure online coaching business. And we are about to get started in 3 2 1. All right, guys, how to deal with haters. They hate us because they hate us. I don’t know if you guys have seen that line in that movie.

I forget where it’s from, but funny line. But how do you deal with haters?

Guys, I’ve got so many stories around this, so many. I don’t even know where to begin, except that I’ll go back to this story. So again, I started with an online agency. We started running Facebook ads before most people did very successfully.

And then I decided to launch a Facebook ad course, a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago.

And so I launched this Facebook ad course and start running ads naturally for the course because we’ve been running ads for years. And it made sense, right, that we’re promoting a Facebook ad course with Facebook ads. It kind of just makes sense. So we are doing that to grow our Facebook ad program. And naturally, what happens when you start running ads is haters come out of the woodworks. Right. And it makes sense with advertisements. You’re reaching thousands of people.

Our ads reach I think it’s seventy six thousand people a week or it’s either that or seven hundred and sixty thousand a week.

I’d have to check. And it’s been a moment since I looked at the Uniques of that, but it’s a lot, all right, and so our ad reach a lot of people, which means there’s a lot of opportunity for somebody to dislike our content and that’s completely fine. But so the first time and I was running ads for our program or early on, I wrote up an ad that was a homerun.

One of the things I love to do is write copy. And because working in an agency, I’d written so many ads before, I’d gotten pretty good at writing copy and copywriting and writing intriguing headlines and all the stuff. And so I wrote up an ad and it got a bunch of comments on it. A lot of people liked the ad.

A lot of people are asking questions about the program, you know, and some people were hating on it. Right. And in this, one person left a remark and at the time I was still managing the ad comments of our account.

Since then, we have Chelsea in our team, who’s amazing. She responds to any remarks as far as questions or comments on our ads. But at the time I was responding to comments. And so somebody left a ridiculous remark and I left a ridiculous remark back. I didn’t jab back, you know, like getting emotionally charged. He is kind of said something that didn’t really make much sense.

And so I responded with, like, dude, that doesn’t make much sense. But what are you trying to say? I really couldn’t even understand what he was saying. He was mad and he was saying something. I forget what it was. And we went back and forth in the thread of comments for a while. And then somebody chimed in that I didn’t even know and was like, Dino, dude, you’ve made it, man.

You don’t need to respond or give energy to the trolls. You’re beyond that. And I was like, whoa. Like it was one of those moments. I was like, huh. And it’s funny because I was never worried about haters. Like, I knew that eventually, they would come, but I was never that worried about it. But this dude saying that I was like, huh, he’s totally right. What am I doing?

And I’m wasting my time and energy responding to him, given him exactly what he wants, attention. And so that was kind of a light bulb moment for me. And so then I turned to my wife and I was like, I got a hater today. And she’s like, oh, Congrats, you have made it. She always knows that when you make it.

Because principle number one, guys, is that nobody hates on you, that’s doing better than you. They just don’t. There’s no reason to. And successful people don’t hate in general. It’s literally a waste of time and energy and thought that could be put into something productive. So they don’t do that. So normally it’s somebody that is in a tough spot and that’s just where they are at in their life. And so, the first step dealing with haters is realizing that if you have haters, that’s a great sign.

That means you’re disrupting the market and you’re making a move and you know, somebody else is feeling under the weather about it. I’ll just say that, OK? And so that’s kind of no. One is like first congratulate yourself. You made it right enough so that you are triggering people. And then number two is like I always like to go back to like metaphor’s like another example of like that you made.

It is like think about any professional athlete, like it doesn’t matter if it’s LeBron James or Michael Jordan or whoever is your team or athlete. Right. They play at home and their home stadium or court. They’re cheered when they go to the other team’s stadium or court. They’re booed by the crowd because they’re good. Right. And that’s what happens. Right. And that’s natural. So athletes are more used to hating than anyone else.

They literally hear horrible things said to them while there’s balls flying at their head and all other types of things in the middle of a sports game. Right. And so that’s the second thing to realize is like that it’s another metaphor for the fact that you made it. But the second step is after you acknowledge, OK, I’ve made it is is just to really just ignore them.

Like you do not respond or engage with anything that they have to say at all. There’s no point in doing so. And that’s why you’ll realize you’ve probably seen plenty of advertisements online with tons of horrible comments. And you’re wondering like, why isn’t the brand responding? Because it’s just not worth the time of day to do so, like it really is not. And so you kind of just brush it off. You recognize that person probably is just in a spot where maybe a little bit jealous of what you’re doing or whatever it is. They’re just not feeling good about themselves and they’re taking it out on you.

And so don’t take it personal. You just ignore it and then you move on, right, and if you want, you can use it as fuel, you can have fun with it. I have Chelsea and her team saves all of the mean comments that are left on our ads. And we have had some good ones. I had somebody tell me I look like a 10 year old once. I do look young.

I’ve had somebody say, when does your next Tony Robbins video come out? That wasn’t that mean. But people come up with some funny comments. There’s been some really wild ones over the years. But I literally have Chelsea save them all because at some point I’m going to do a YouTube video and I’m going to read off mean comments, just like if you guys have seen mean tweets before, I’m going to read them off and just have fun with it, because honestly, some of them are pretty funny, some of them I tip my hat.

I’m like that. That was pretty good. Like I’m laughing, that was pretty good. And so that’s kind of the second thing is to start having fun with it because I still get notifications on Facebook when somebody comments on our ads, even though Chelsea manages responding to ads like every now and then I’ll see a comment left. And sometimes I’ll engage with it and so forth, like sometimes people won’t leave a hater comment.

It’s not a mean comment. It’s just like a funny comment. And I always give my kudos for that because I’m like, that was funny. And so that’s the other thing, guys, is just to have fun with it because it doesn’t change anything. People are so worried about what if I have a hater? what if everybody in the world doesn’t like me?

Guys, you do not want everybody to like you, all right? If everybody likes you, you’re doing it wrong.

All right? You want to have haters. All right. That’s the other thing you need to realize. You want to have haters for several reasons. One, it means you’re doing something right. And you’re scaring people enough that they’re leaving comments to try and break you down. And two, it means that you have a polarity in your message, in your marketing enough that you’re repelling or triggering some people while attracting others. And that’s what you marketing should always be doing because you want your marketing to have a degree of polarity to it.

All right. Because if you market to everyone, then you market to no one. All right. And so you don’t want to be that generalist. You want to draw a line in the sand as far as your belief system, what you stand for. What you don’t stand for. And you want to make that really clear. And then from there, people are going to be like, nope, I don’t like you.

And they might leave a bad comment. Your ads should say, hey, if you’re doing this, you’re doing it wrong. And here’s our methodology and this is the right way to do it. And what that’s going to do is it’s going to make some people really uncomfortable because they are going to be like if you say if you’re doing this, you’re doing it wrong.

If I say, hey, if you only do organic marketing as a coach, you’re doing it wrong, you should really be doing ads with organic. The people that are just doing organic are going to get triggered. They might leave a mean comment. Right.

But that’s what we want, because what’s simultaneously is going to happen is there’s going to be a part of that audience that’s trying to do organic marketing as a coach, not having success. And they’re going to be like, no wonder I’m not having success. I need to also do ads with organic. Right. And it’s going to pull in people that are ready and willing to scale their business with ads as well. And so that’s like, for example, that’s part of our messaging over here is we love ads and organic works a ton.

We teach of a lot organic marketing strategies inside of our mastermind. And then we also teach ads as well, because I believe organic is the best way to start as an online coach to really get to six figures. And then from there, once you have your marketing, your message and then your program delivery dialed in your sales dialed in, then it makes sense to go one hundred times faster with advertisements. A Facebook live is only going to reach one hundred a few hundred people.

If you spend ten dollars a day on Facebook ads, you’re reaching thousands of people.

Right. And so I make that very clear in what I post on Facebook in our ads, I’m like, hey, if you’re a mission driven coach or you’re out there to impact and serve and help as many people as possible, don’t say that and not be afraid to run ads, because if that is actually your mission to help and serve more people, you will run ads so that you serve and help more people. Right. And so we say that and it triggers people because there’s plenty of organic coaches who literally get mad about it. They’re like, hey, I’m fine with my coaching business, and they message me and PM me and all these different things, you know, tell me more about the ads and stuff and they get curious because I mean, it’s just numbers. You’re going to reach more people with ads. You’re going to serve more people. You’re going to lend more clients.

And so I say that I know it’s tough for me to wrap my head around saying that because I think innately everybody wants to be liked by everybody. But from a marketing perspective, you have to draw a line in the sand for what you stand for. And I firmly believe that ads are the best way to scale a coaching business that already has its foundations in place. For that reason that you reach more people and naturally reaching more people, you can help more people.

You can land more clients. And so that is our message. And it triggers some folks and other folks go love it. They go, yes, like cool.

Like, I’ve been doing organic for a while and it’s been working, but I am ready to scale and blow up.

And so, like, I would love to learn more about your program and stuff because we’re ready to scale. And so some people love it. So that’s polarity. Drawing a line in the sand, what you believe in. And some people aren’t going to like it. If they don’t like it, that’s OK. They’re not the right fit client.

And, you know, you wish them the best. And that’s totally cool. Right. You shouldn’t be trying to land everybody as a client. There’s just endless opportunity and business out there. And other people are going to be like that makes total sense. I love what you stand for. I’m a huge proponent of ads as well. You know, I’d love to learn more about your program and so forth for that reason.

And so that is really important, guys. And so that’s kind of like how, you know, whether you’re doing it right or wrong and stuff like that. Like you should have some haters, our clients. You know, I’ve been really working on this, drawing a line in the sand of what they stand for. And it doesn’t have to be just in like marketing technique per say. You can draw a line in the sand and create polarity of what your mission and stances on a whole bunch of different things.

You know, we have a client who’s a relationship coach, and so she makes it very clear that her line in the sand is the way, you know, communication should work between a couple. Right. And it’s different than what other relationship coaches say. But she stands strong in her belief that, hey, this is the way it’s communication, that should work in a relationship. And that will ultimately lead to the relationship that you’re looking for.

And she is very firm about her belief system there. And she also like another way to create polarity is whether or not you swear and curse. Some people are very turned off by explicit language, I’ll say. Right. And but that creates clarity. So if you’re somebody who naturally cusses a lot and that’s just who you are, then go for the cuss, not on purpose. But if that’s just naturally the way you talk, where you drop an F bomb here and there, then go ahead and do that, because what that’s going to do is some people are going to be like, nope, like that’s too much for me or, you know, I can’t do that with my kids around.

Like, that’s not the right coach for me. Other people are going to be like, yes, that person is very authentic. Like, that’s you know, they’re not sugarcoating anything. There’s so many different ways to create polarity guys. But the point of the matter is that you don’t want to market to everybody. You don’t want everybody to like you. You should have haters. And when you do, you just brush it off, wish them the best, have somebody else manage your ad comments is what I do.

So I don’t even have to see the comments. And then you just keep powering forward and, you know, as you focus on your clients and what you’re doing with them and that’s it. You pat yourself on the back because you made it right. And that’s a tell tale sign that you’ve made it. And so it’s really not something to be concerned about. You’ll be surprised if you haven’t had your first hater yet. You’ll be surprised the first time you get it, you’ll be like, you know what? That really wasn’t that bad. And it’s because it’s not somebody standing at your front door screaming at you or, you know, it’s somebody on the Internet typing things on their computer. But behind in a dark room somewhere in the world, you know what I mean? It’s very different. I think you won’t be as effective as nearly as much as you think you will survive.

And it’s really not a big deal, actually. It becomes kind of funny. And every now and then I go through our folder of mean comments and I laugh because some of them are funny. But anyways, that’s how I deal with haters, guys.

That’s how you should deal with haters. You should have haters and if not look to make sure that you’re not marketing to everyone. Make sure there’s some polarity in your marketing. Make sure you’re drawing a line in the sand of what your belief system is and that you’re being unique to your brand and what you stand for and your methodologies and communication and personal brand, whether or not you cuss or not, just your style, whether you’re going to be wearing a suit all the time and looking professional or casual like that.

Is your brand at is polarity? And so stand centre to yourself like that, and you will attract the right fit clients to you and repel the wrong ones.

All right. And so that is it for this episode, guys, as always, keep doing. You have an absolute blast with your online business. We will see you guys in the next episode.

Hey! Dino Gomez here. And if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to head on over to the secretsofcoaching.com for more resources, downloads, videos and cheat sheets to help you grow your online coaching business. All right. And if you picked up a cool tip or strategy from this particular episode, we would love a five star review where every single month we choose one lucky winner to win access to one of our coaching programs. All right. So that is it for this episode, guys.

We will see you in the next one, Bye bye

 

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